Someone said that we must be having a hard time wrapping our head around it. That its even a conversation we’re having. I hear ya. Except my whole life has been wrapped up in it. Its a conversation I can’t seem to stop having.

Matthew is overwhelmed and scared and his only focus needs to be on staying comfortable and positive. So I’ve taken over scheduling doctor appointments and reading mychart results. Keeping track of pain meds for the damn kidney stones that won’t seem to pass, gathering information and asking questions. Texting and calling and keeping everyone up to date, sharing information and fielding questions. Mostly questions I don’t have any answer for because I just don’t know. Have the stones passed? idk. Can they blast them? idk. Do they do surgery for that? idk. When do they decide to remove them? idk. How do they take them out? idk. Will he still lose his whole kidney? idk. When do they take that out? Is it scheduled? idk. Do they know for sure it’s a malignant tumor? idk. Do they know for sure its RCC? idk. Will he need chemo? idk. Will he be cured after surgery? idk. How long is recovery? idk. What can I do for y’all? idk. Can I do anything to help? idk. How is Matthew doing? idk. How are the kids? idk. How are you? idk.

What I do know is that the tumor is wrapped around the kidney. Our family is wrapped in love and support from friends and family. Matthew is wrapped in prayer from so so so many. And, most importantly, we are wrapped in God’s never ending love and strength and power and might.

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